New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
