One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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