kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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