this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
