I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
