If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
