I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
