Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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