Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
