The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Quick, to the slutcave!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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