Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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