Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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