worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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