better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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