"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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