is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
