Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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