Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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