life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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