I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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