oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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