I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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