ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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