ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
