Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
