i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
