i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
