I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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