i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
