how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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