i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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