haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My feet surprised me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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