I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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