her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
