i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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