Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize