Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I will be naked everywhere
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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