Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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