I want to walk on stilts...naked
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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