The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize