my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
