stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize