Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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