I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
