sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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