What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
