Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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