Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize