My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize