I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
