We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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