i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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