Dual....:-)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
