Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
