yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i would punch a child for taco bell
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
