It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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