You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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