I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
