how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His nipple licking is glorious
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