he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wish my penis had a tongue
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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