I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize