Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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