...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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