Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
