Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
3 2 1 whiskey
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize