i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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