when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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