I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize