I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
