I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
