According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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