I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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