Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
