I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize