I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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