I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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